Hunter Biden Launches Blind Graft Trust
No one should have their retinas scarred by bad art so that I can make a dishonest living…”
Local High School Renames Mascot to “ICE Agents”
“We thought it would be a good time to move on and chose an inclusive icon…”
Survey: 95% of AntiVaxxers are Either Stupid or Selfish
“Not a single respondent has any knowledge of vaccines or microchip technology…”
Orange Bowl Renamed Toilet Bowl
A four year deal to rename the Orange Bowl to the Kohler Toilet Bowl beginning in the 2021-22 football season
Vegans Denonuce “Bee Slave Labor” Fruits
The world produces fruit under the forced labor of bees…
Donald Trump Announces New Osama Bin Laden Statues
“Bin Laden sits among the great pantheon of fallen American enemies, like Robert E. Lee” – Donald Trump
Trump Builds Wall, New Mexico to Pay for It
Keeping an important campaign promise, President Donald Trump announced today that he has instructed the US Department of Homeland Security to begin construction of a […]
Urban Scooters Declared Crimes Against Humanity
In an expected move, the International Criminal Court and the European Court of Human Rights both voted this week to declare use of urban scooters, […]
Barack Obama Wins Nobel Prize in Medicine
In a stunning move that has already sparked outrage in some political circles, the Nobel Assembly at the Karolinska Institute announced today that former US President […]