As the newest member of the America’s fallen enemies collection, US President Donald Trump announced the erection of Osama Bin Laden Statues to be featured in cities across the United States.
In a Rose Garden address today, Trump stated, “Osama Bin Laden sits among the great pantheon of fallen American enemies, like Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, and Adolph Hitler. It was a gross oversight that we failed to honor this fallen enemy of our democracy and freedom with the recognition he deserved. I solemnly pledge to correct this injustice immediately with the first statue to be erected right here, on the White House grounds, and ask for cities around the country to open up your public spaces to recognize and honor this menace to freedom.”
Reaction to the President’s action was mixed. Delores Hooskow, President of the Veterans Association of Heros, and co-chair of Trumps re-election campaign in West Virginia, told GND, “It may seem odd at first, but if you know the heart of this great President, you can just feel his love and mercy for all of God’s children. If you’re judging Trump, just remember what happens to people who throw rocks at glass houses.” She refused to clarify her metaphor by the time of printing.
Others were more perspicacious. “What the h***! Did he really do that?” were the only words uttered by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as she responded to the news while ascending the steps entering the member’s only portion of the Congressional Staff Building. It appeared that she had no foreknowledge of the announcement. She provided no further comment at this time.
The Mayor of Pittsburgh, Bill Peduto, was the first mayor to jump on the President’s initiative, crossing political lines and declaring on Twitter, “Pittsburgh is proud to be the first American city to join #POTUS and erect a Bin Laden statue, placing it adjacent to the Stephen Foster sculpture in Schenley Plaza.”
As of the time of printing, reports began circulating that the city of Richmond, Virginia would soon join Steel City, adding Bin Laden to its locally-revered Monument Avenue. No city officials have provided comment at this time.