In an unprecedented move, Senate Democrats led by Minority Leader Chuck Schumer of New York proposed articles of impeachment for Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. The central article in the impeachment document accuses the newly minted justice of stealing work pens from his office.
“While interviewing then nominee Kavanaugh, I noticed that he was using pens printed with ‘property of the DC Circuit Court of Appeals’ while he was in my office” said Senator Schumer. “And then again, last week, I saw him at a dinner party using the same pen.”
Schumer’s accusation was followed with swift condemnations on CNN and from the New York Times. The Times editorial page ran an opinion piece today laying out at least ten instances where their reporters have photographed the Justice using work pens at home through his office window from the street. “This is outrageous,” penned the times, “in an era when federal budgets are exploding here is one of our most senior government officials blatantly stealing from taxpayers.”
Other Senators were quick to add more condemnation. “I will motion for the death penalty in this case if we can convict him, and I don’t even believe in the death penalty”, said Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont.
“Burn the witch”, said Senator Elizabeth Warren, of Massachusetts.
Republican Senators were unfazed. None were willing to go on the record with GND except Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky who said, “yeah, and see if we’re not impeaching Biden over the same thing.” After stating this, and waiving his hand in the air, the Senator turned his back and walked away laughing with no further comment.